feast at KITA

After the afterparty at Bistro Gakuji Italian restaurant, Hiro and I were starving. We had not eaten a thing at our party, despite paying around 100 dollars. Go figure, ha ha. I hope that our guests ate and drank our share of food and drink!!!

Here we treated our wonderful friends to dinner - Mitsue and Nao were our backstage team, serving as our drivers, receptionists, package managers, and so on! As a result they missed much of the party.

We went to a new posh place named KITA located right behind NON-cafe in Ninomiya. It serves many Japanese foods made with organic or locally-grown produce. The quality speaks for itself and the taste, ummmm - scrumptioussss! Though a bit pricey, we enjoyed every moment.

Spicy shrimp (ebi-chili), fresh sashimi, great steak with special sauce, sushi...and more! Then topped off with a dessert plate: mango pudding, wedge of honeydew melon, and 5-flavor stratus-like ice cream (black sesame, peanut, vanilla, green tea...)

WEDDING afterparty - one week later!

In Japan it is customary to have an afterparty following the reception. This way one's friends can get in on the fun. Usually the couple's two best friends plan this party, however, we did not want to put the burden on anyone...so we planned it ourselves!

We planned it for 50 people at Bistro Gakuji because it was the most conveniently located place for all our guests. Usually such an all-you-can-drink party lasts only 2 hours, however, we were lucky enough to get an extension...it lasted almost 3 1/2 hours!

At the party we played name bingo - people went around the room collecting names to write on the empty bingo blanks. People drew guests' names from a cloth bag...prizes ranged from a gag gift of tissue to moderate gifts like Japanese sake from Minna no gawa to strange gifts like a bag of new crop brown rice, and the grand prize being a new SILVER iPod!

Shopping for bingo took a lot of time and energy. We had to buy presents from various shops and then wrap them. We used newspaper and recycled wrapping from the wedding gifts we had received. Theme: to your health and environmentally friendly and economical! Of course, the most expensive prize was wrapped to look like trash, hee hee...needless to say, it remained in the pile until the very end.

Appearances can be deceiving, folks!

single or married life?!

Some of you might wonder about married life. In the States we joke that after marriage a man has essentially 'lost all his freedom.' What a pessimistic outlook - no wonder why so many people are marriage shy these days!

Admittedly, I too was afraid to get married...single life is so enjoyable: do whatever I wish, stay up until wee hours, eat junk food and plenty of sweets, sleep in until 10. I worried newly married life would bring a halt to my independent lifestyle. Not true - just different now! It is all the fun of single life times two!

Here are some quotes from my married friends:
"You are starting a New Life from this Sunday!!Fantastic!!Some people say that a single life is happier though I don't believe that!!!In my case,I feel much much better and comfortable, happier than before."

"I can say my life has totally changed. Of course I enjoyed live by myself before I met him. But now I feel I can enjoy every little things (making break fast, say morning to him, washing dishes etc...) of life more and more."

more photos

To see some online album wedding, e-mail me for more details. I don't particularly feel like putting them up on my blog for all to see. ^_^ I am open...to a certain extent. Some things stay within close friends and family.

are you addicted to flings?

Viv, I know how you’ve been so commitment-phobic before you met Hiro, and so, for someone like you to find another person who suits you so perfectly and with whom you want to share the rest of your life, is absolutely amazing! ~~~my dear friend, E

In the past I had short and sweet relationships. Why get serious? If you get serious, it gets all complex and feelings run deep and possibility of getting hurt is high, if not inevitable. In the beginning of a relationship one feels nervous and their heart flutters at the thought of a date, they have none (if not just few) disagreements, and both work so hard at pleasing each other. Then time goes by and some of that is lost. Some people, I think, are addicted to that first phase of dating, the infatuation "this person has no flaws like Ken doll" phase. Less of those I know in Japan are 'addicted to the honeymoon phase' than friends back home. Cultural difference or just a personality thing?

I remember years ago, when we first started dating, I started to tell Hiro how awful it was, that a terrible thing had happened. He asked me what was wrong. I told him I started to care about him too much and then broke into tears. Ha ha - he was really shocked at the sudden outburst. I had always dated with a half or even 1/4th committed heart. It was so much easier to date people and 'act' so to speak, rather than risk being myself and disliked for doing just that...at the same time, it was exhausting keeping up with that persona.

photos at the kimono shop

Here is a pic taken from the Monday day trip with our family and friends! My mom disliked her yellow kimono, claiming it make her look plump and stout. Hiro looked really good in the man's hakama, however, I won't post a photo of him...blog shy he is!

Normally it costs 20,000yen or more to have photos taken at a professional studio. These cost around 50 dollars. The store, Yodonawa kimono was very generous.

present all the way from Toronto!!!

Cousin Michelle (the one living in Gifu as an ALT now) gave us this amazing present! It is a mirror from The Tin Taj on Queen Street - not just any mirror, but one filled with various symbols and reminders of the journey before our marriage. This photo doesn't do it justice...please visit to see it in person sometime!!!

Thanks for the very personalized and thoughtful gift, Michelle! Ha ha, and all this time I thought you just needed all those details for the wedding speech! You wily fox, you! :)

Quotes from our guests

"I can't find suitable words to describe how I feel, but it was one of the best parties I've ever joined. The food, the atmosphere, the talk, everything was great!"

"It was very heart warming and inpressing party. I was enjoyed Michelle's speech. Her Japanese was really nice!!! And I was touched of your speach especially. Every attendee understood that you'd grown up with love. Every one of your guests was really nice."

"Thank you for inviting me such a wonderful wedding party!!! I was touched so much! It was wonderful that I met your family. Wow! Your family is powerful. You often told me about your family so it was interesting to see them. It was an international and unique wedding."

"It was the greatest wedding among the party I attended. Very international but some parts were Japanese. Good balance and many things were my first experience. And both of you have a nice family!"

"The wedding and reception was wonderful. Definitely had a lot of the Vivian touch in it and Hiro can surely play the Cello!"

going to the embassy

Japanese law requires all foreigners who marry in Japan to first prepare a sworn Affidavit of Competency to Marry (Konin Yoken Gubi Shomeisho 婚姻要件具備証明書), affirming they are legally free to marry, from their own country's embassy or consulate in Japan.

Friday I went down to Tokyo to get this form notarized. I expected the embassy to be heavily 'fortified' which it, in fact, was! Guards surrounded each entrance and as I passed by, each one asked me the purpose of my trip. They radioed other guards to signal my 'OK' status.

I found all the staff to be official, helpful, professional and each gave me a green clear without hesitation. A few weeks back someone told me what a nasty experience it was to go to the US Embassy - rude security guards, defensive metal detector staff, and so on. On the contrary, they were quite friendly. Almost all thought I was a Japanese citizen going to the embassy to get a visa and were surprised when I whipped out my passport. ^_^ Ha ha, gotcha!

auntie BeeBee?!?!

My brother and his wife came to my wedding from Korea, even though she is a fragile few months pregnant! That was the best present already, but then they noticed Hiro and I do not have any decent silverware/china...so they purchased us a pair set of fine china. So cute and playful - I love it! Jinny and Vinny have great taste!

Ooo, auntie BB I will be. I suppose that also means uncle Hiro? Ha haaaa. That was the big surprise for all at the wedding - Jinny is about 4 months pregnant now. I wish her a safe and relatively painless (painless is impossible, I think!) pregnancy. Boy or girl??? I wonder which! My mom says it must be a girl because Jinny looks radiant and emits a beautiful pregnant glow.

ohhh, sorry I killed the plant Tomoko!

With everything going on, I completely neglected my plant! Ohhhh, it suffered such an ill fate. Like Hiro jokes, "you have a black thumb." I wish I could turn my black thumb into a green one, but at this rate, it seems a very distant pipe dream!

If you give me flowers, cut ones or arrangements are always the best. My friend Kazue knows me well and gave me a cute cactus. Ha ha. If even that dies, I am one heck of a hopeless plant caretaker!

Lucky for me!

Yes and no. My new name will be Vivian Lee Yamada but on paper (legal documents, forms of identificaiton, etc.) it will remain Vivian Lee due to various complications and considerations.

In Japan, the civil law forces a common surname for every married couple, unless in a case of international marriage. In most cases, women surrender their surnames upon marriage, and use the surnames of their husbands. (that is, unless the woman is heir to a company, large fortune, or other such ties...in which case the husband marries into the family while adopting her surname)

As for women who want to keep their maiden name, people are figuring out ways around the bureaucracy. One ploy is the "paper divorce/remarriage." Others are opting for a "de factomarriage," which means that while they might very well have a religious ceremony, they don't legally register their marriage, so husband and wife can keep their surnames. This is particularly beneficial for women (in Tsukuba) with an advancing career and many academic papers under her maiden name.

still learning from dad

I had not seen my father for about two years so it was great to see him in person again! He often tries to arm me with skills and different ways of survival thinking, something perhaps his own parents did not stress enough. As great as I think grandpa and grandma Lee was and is, they perhaps focused too much on education and books...not unlike the typical Japanese sense. Some common sense and life skills were overlooked, leading to a life of much trial-and-error.

Here is the latest quote from my dad:
1) Stupid people never learn from their mistakes.
2) Smart people learn from their own mistakes.
3) Wise people learn from other people's mistakes.

MONDAY day trip

In order to have money for this trip, I looked for ways to cut corners at the wedding - cutting corners on food or flowers would have been tragic! So instead of renting 2 dresses for a total of 6000 dollars at a Japanese rental place, I bought 2 from China for a grand total of 500 dollars. Instant money for our day trip to treat all the guests! If there is a will, there is a way.

On Monday we chartered a bus to take around all of our guests (my family, family friends from abroad and Hiro's immediate family)...all the way up to Tsukuba mountain. This would have been an ideal plan, with the exception of the uncooperative weather. It was windy and slightly rainy as well.

We went to a very established (140 year old!) sake brewery called MINNA NO GAWA. (see picture) They described the sake making process and allowed us to have some samples. I served as the translator to his explanations - a little bit scary but a great experience.

After that we headed further up the mountain to a soba, buckwheat noodle-making workshop place. We had about 7 teams make 70%soba 30%wheat flour noodles. Two experts assisted us in the process. On the way back to the bus we got a glimpse of Japanese cloth dying...some older ladies were cooking leaves and flowers to produce dye for fabrics. We could even see some finished products!

Everyone soaked in a hot spring we chose. For some it was their first experience doing that. After that leg of the trip, most people were pooped out and ready to return to the hotel to retire. The Dughis, Hiro, mom and I went on to the kimono shop where we could try on kimonos and have our photos semi^professionally taken. What a fun experience it was. I just have to remember not to show grandma Lee those photos - she would be soooo furious. Not to lie or anything but some things are best left unsaid!

down with DAIWA taxi

Last Friday I forgot to reserve some taxis for our guests to return to the hotel. Friday night is peak taxi service time, so if one wants to get home, they should plan in advance. In all the fuss and hectic times, it completely slipped my mind to make a reservation for 3 taxis...oops, my bad.

What happened: Come Friday night. Hiro calls them to order some taxis. They reply by asking how many people. He asks how long it will take. They are angry and shout at him and hang up.

This is not the first time this has happened. It has happened to me in the past as well. I have since deleted DAIWA taxi as my main taxi service and replaced it with the smaller, hopefully more courteous company, MATSUMI taxi. I will not put up with A*#$OLES and their S$&T and will boycott the company until things improve on their end. They have obviously forgotten the motto of, "the customer is always right."

If you need to get home one day, why don't you either a) hitch a ride from a friend b) try walking back c) come and go by bike or, d) call a taxi company other than Daiwa?

DOLLARS and SENSE...ha ha

Right now the dollar is wavering around 117-119yen, not bad at all and almost the same as this time last year when it was more like 120-122yen! This proved great for all our guests with US dollars from America. They could go nuts and spend away to their heart's delights.

Though it must be noted (as informed by a guest from Chicago) that IF you should choose to exchange in the States you will get 92 yen to the dollar. CRAZY considering local banks in Japan give you 118yen to the dollar!!!

I find it strange that traveller's checks always fetch a better exchange rate than USD cash. Either way, it sure is safer to have traveller's checks over cash. ^_^ One guest had a problem with his credit card. Despite his call to the credit card company informing them of the overseas trip, they put a STOP on his card. What a pain it was to get them to reactivate it.

Note to Japanese travelers: Keep a VISA (or two) and a Mastercard, just in case! JCB card only works in Japan and Hawaii. Don't count on it much elsewhere or else you will be in trouble!

gratitude speech

In Japan it is the norm for the daughter to give a speech of thanks to her parents, showing how appreciative she is for what they have done to raise her. It also has meaning because not only is she expressing thanks but also bidding goodbye to them as their 'little girl.'

I procrastinated for ages, putting it off until the last minute possible (I finally got around to it Sunday morning, 2 hours before heading to the wedding house) because I just knew it would make me a bit sad. Writing it alone brought tears to my eyes, making Hiro wonder how on Earth I could present it when I could not even rehearse it in the comfort of my own home.

Come showtime on Sunday. My mom was bawling out her eyes after I presented her a bouquet of flowers...and I had yet to give my speech! Hard to keep composed seeing one's parents weep away. Starting the speech was the hardest part - I kept choking up and found my voice quavering. After a few lines it got better and I focused on reading, not daring to look at my parents for fear of breaking down.

Phew - made it through without sobbing like a blubbermouth. Though it was tough, I was glad to have this formal bid 'farewell' to my parents. As cliche has it, closure is good.

What's in a kiss?!

Except for Lewis' wedding this past summer, every other wedding I attended surprised me when it came time for the official kiss to seal their vows. Most men kissed their bride on their - forehead, cheek, nose...everywhere BUT the mouth. That just goes to show how shy some Japanese still are. (go to Shibuya and you might see otherwise...tongue wrestling and much more!)

I told Hiro that my family would not be keen on a kiss directed elsewhere and not on the lips. 'what a cop-out' is what they might have thought. Naturally, he was worried and a bit embarrassed about having to kiss in front of everyone! So on the big day it was very short and cute peck on the lips. And then, for some odd reason, all our Japanese guests snickered and chuckled! Hmm? I will have to ask and find out the humour we missed!

Picture: The Kiss by RODIN (Margaret sent us a wedding card with this image, ha ha!)

bread service!

Normally couples here do something called "candle service," - a ritual which involved the couples going around from table to table to light a candle. After that, a picture with those at the table is taken.

Instead of this we did a more casual 'bread service.' Because of this we did not have to dim the lights and we could really enjoy seeing and chatting with our guests. Hiro held the bread tray as I served everyone a soft bun and baguette-like bread.

Let's waltz!

As (Western) tradition goes, we had the official father and daughter dance at our wedding. Japanese people rarely, if not never, go dancing. You can imagine the bewilderment on everyone's face when they saw the 'show' on the dance floor. In the denouement (sp?) of the first dance with my father, he swirled me into Hiro's path, making for a very smooth lead in! Though the dance floor was much smaller than desired, me managed to make do.

Equally fun to dancing was seeing everyone get excited and join us on the dance floor - mom, dad, uncle George and Cathy, my brother... Ha ha, I imagine most of our Japanese guests were too timid to join in, though at the last moment Hiro's university-days friend came up to steal a dance with me on the dance floor. It was a riot! Ha ha.

wedding ducks from pa

My father presented me with a pair of wonderful hand-painted ducks, made in Honduras! This particular artist has amazing craftsmanship, check it out.

I was not aware of the symbolic meaning they represent: in Korea and China, ducks are included in the wedding procession because ducks mate for life. Should one happen to pass away, the other will remain partnerless for life. How bittersweet it is, indeed.

We displayed the pair on the welcome & reception table. I hope that like the ducks, we will have each other for life! Quack, quackkkkk.

wake up? never!

As enjoyable these past few days have been, ugh, I have felt like a groggy ogre in the morning! Waking up has been such a task. This morning I cooked tomato scrambled eggs with my eyes halfway shut. Listless, I had no energy to eat it. Instead I watched Hiro dig in as I chomped on a Japanese pear. Note to self: eat lots of donuts before shriveling into infinite skeletonship.

Hopefully today's cleared up weather will re-energize the fuel reserves in me. The weather has substantially cooled since the big day, making it undeniable that autumn has come and in full blast. Aww, and I was still donning shorts and tees.

in paradise!

I unintentionally created a wedding theme...and by the time I had noticed, things were all perfectly in place! The second dress I wore looked like a mermaid. The names of our tables were all named after some Polynesian islands like: Bora Bora, Tahiti, Maupiti, and so on.

Our wedding cake was a real killer: blue jelly ocean, surfboard, and worded "Diving into Love" - a play on our mutual interest in scuba diving. Adeptly described as tacky??? But original, playful, and 110% one-of-a-kind!

Order of events

Introduction of Yamada family
Introduction of Lee family
Chapel service
Bouquet toss
Opening - grand entrance
Formal introduction of families
First speech - Michelle (in Japanese!!!) on how we met
Second speech - Hiro's boss (given in English! and quite good!)
Prayer - Vince says grace
First toast - Hiro's uncle makes a formal toast
Dinner service begins
Cake cut, first bite
Couple exits for a change of clothes
- 3 CDs are shown to the guests while we freshen up/change
- childhood to now photos of us, rafting trip, Taiwan studio photos
Second grand entrance
Musical performance - Hiro and his two high school-day friends
Dancing
Presentation of gratitude bouquets to parents
Gratitude speech - Vivian to her parents
Thank you from Hiro's mother and Vivian's father
Surprise birthday song, cake, and presents for Hiro's mother
Couple's final words and thanks to the guests
Couple and their parents bid farewell to all at the doorway

new fad: have a wedding, lose 2 kilos!

This entry is just about the amazing weight loss that occurs from all the excitement involved in one's own wedding. Sunday morning we had a regular breakfast. For lunch we had just banana shakes, for fear eating too much would give us indigestion or that we would be so nervous it'd be all puked up by the time we got started. Between the chapel event and reception we downed some KitKat bars (see pumpkin KitKat featured), dried fruit, and crackers - to keep glucose levels going and prevent any embarrassing stomach growling!

TIMELINE
11:30am take a taxi to the wedding hall
noon sewing dress, getting hyped up
12:30am start makeup and dress
1:30pm photographer starts working
2:00pm introduction of the families in the special room
3:00pm chapel procession
4:00pm wedding reception begins
7:00pm wedding finishes and the last guests ship out
7:30pm we finally get to eat!

We were dead tired...like zombies. We got home and Hiro lost 2kg in one day. I lost 1 or 1.5 kilos from the event. The next day was not much better...a long day trip and more...my face is starting to look sickingly gaunt. Yeah - time to put on weight. You notice how much more fun it is to put on weight than lose it? And MUCH easier too!

POO-CHEE what?

PUCCHI gift...pronounced, POO-CHEE gift in Japanese. It means kind of 'mini-gift' and usually consists of tea, cookies, jam or some other small thing as a last token of thanks for guests departing the wedding reception hall.

In addition to that, guests receive a big HIKIDEMONO party favor bag (worth 30-50 dollars, depending on one's budget) next to their assigned seat at the table. Often such a party favor bag includes: some sweets and some name-brand tableware. For our Japanese guests we included a catalogue gift present - they can decide for themselves what they want. For our foreign guests who didn't have that option, Hiro's mother presented them with fancy premium rice crackers freshly delivered from Kyoto!

For our pucchi gift we made banana almond muffins! It took many hours and some experimentation because my oven thermostat is wildly inaccurate. Saturday from around 5pm to 11pm...muffin making, more muffin making...and of course eating them along the way. Ha ha!

Friday family welcome party

By late Friday night everyone had gotten into town. We hosted a party at our condo, a party for 14 people. It was quite rowdy but my neighbors did not put up any fuss. (In true Japanese form, I should have told them in advance it might be a little noisy but I forgot to do it...instead, days later I dropped off some small gift and apologies for any unwelcome volume that night.)

Due to the advice of my and Hiro's mom, some takeout Italian was ordered from the restaurant downstairs...this substantially reduced our party workload. The other half was Japanese (kinpira gobo, nikujaga, horenso-ae, hijiki salad, cut up persimmons and apples) made by me and my little helpers: Hiro, my brother Vinny and Jinny. I could not have done it without them. In two hours we whipped up many dishes. They made yummy Korean kimbap. Jinny is a fantastic cook!

I think this was one of my favorite parts about my wedding - this night because it was one of the few chances my family had to get together and bond. My brother's wedding inspired me to again recreate a situation where our family and honorary family (Dughi family) could laugh, chat, and relive the good times.

again, the blue dress!!!

Picture it: Sunday morning, I wake up and suddenly realize it is impossible to dance in my mermaid-like dress! All Saturday evening my dad and I focused on our short dance routine...I mentioned that my dress was a bit long but he just said it would look doubly elegant. Then I got to thinking again...my dress made it impossible to twirl and spin as we had rehearsed.

Sunday at noon at Dear Stage wedding hall. Scene: Vivian sitting on the floor, legs widespread, dress sprawled out in her lap, armed with a needle and thread. Dress engineering time! I started to make an arm loop (out of the ugly neck piece I hadn't intended on wearing with the dress) to pull up the bottom of my dress up off the floor during the dance. To ensure the arm loop did not flap around like the a piece of the wardrobe malfunctioning I secured it with a single stitch to be torn right before the big dance.

I will post some pics soon. You can see the final product. I was told I looked like a regular mermaid in the dress. (hee hee...this went along with our subtle theme of paradise in South Polynesia - Tahiti our honeymoon destination) The back was really elegant and flowed like a mermaid's tail billowing in sea waters.

first and last time?!?!

As many brides do, I went to a nail salon to get some nail extensions. I had my reservations about whether or not to get them. Finally my friend Mayumi suggested I get them if I intended on having close-ups of hands donning our newly ring clad fingers.

Making the decision - ummm, not just vanilla or chocolate! Apparently there are two major types: acrylic nails which cost 100 dollars plus additional cost for trimmings and alternatively, gel tips starting at 50 dollars plus. Eeks. I had expected the whole thing to come to around 30 dollars...could not have been farther from the truth! The decorations, glitter, studs, sparkles and what not cost about 5-9 dollars PER finger.

What a rip-off...not to mention some of the designs on display looked really hideous and in-your-face BLING BLING. Yucky! I settled on a pearly iridescent polish and NO additional decor. Again, K.I.S.S: keep it simple, stupid!

On the same day I had them put on, we hosted the dinner party...while cooking I damaged a few nails and could barely do anything. Having fake nails is a royal pain in the you-know-what! Here are some reasons why: you have to worry that they will fall off, you cannot open up pop cans, it's pointless to scratch an itch because the nail edges are so blunt, typing speed decreases by at least 20 wpm, food and gunk gets stuck under them.

So if you see me with fake nails at some formal event, they might just be Sally Hansen press ons! Either that or my real nails. Oh, the fun thing about getting my nails done: the beautician was a nice woman who was chatty and interesting. She could carry on a good conversation, a stimulating one not just focused on shopping and fashion. Now that is an impressive nail artist. Oh and she did do a pretty good job, despite all my gripes about fake nails in general. Ha ha.

See for yourself.

pre-wedding festivities

Last Thursday and Friday everyone started rolling into Japan - that's when things were just starting to warm up!

An oopsie - two of our guests missed their Thursday flight and were scheduled to arrive one day later than planned. Scrambling around, other pick-up arrangements had to be made. Thankfully a student came to our rescue and saved the day. Phew: wiping off sweat from my forehead...

Friday I spent with the Gail and John Dughi (my honorary Caucasian mom and dad, parents of my brother's best friend, Pat), family friend Frank, and my brother Vinny and his wife Jinny. We took the grand tour around Tsukuba central - not much to see but, it was nice for them to see how I live life here. They seemed to enjoy getting acquainted to our small university town.

hairpins

I could not find any hairpins which struck my fancy. Those which were mildly attractive cost almost 20 dollars. Okay...but not really worth it. I bought some hairpins and dainty flowers at the 100-yen (dollar shop) place. Again, I put the needle to the thread and went at it.

Well, I pretty well got everything covered: something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue! Hee hee. Anyway now I am wondering what to do with it all. Sell it? Give it away to one of my many friends getting married soon? We'll see. In the meantime it is taking up heaps of storage space...jama jama desssss.

Who said Japan is healthy? I beg to differ!

Like any other industrialized nation, obesity is becoming a problem in Japan, with nearly 30 percent of male adults found to be overweight in a survey released Tuesday by the Ministry of Health, Welfare and Labor.
___________________________________
I could not agree more on this one. I was surprised to see an ongoing trend of women getting thinner and thinner and men...well quite the contrary, bigger and bigger! Most single men dine out at Japanese fast food places like Yoshinoya, Sukiya, and ramen shops - beef bowls and greasy spoon ramen fare clogs up arteries like bacon fat in a drain pipe! Ewww.

If you consider men in Tokyo who must attend obligatory after-work drinking sessions (supposedly for bonding and improving camaraderie among fellows) undoubtedly a night full of shochu Japanese distilled liquor, sake, beer, and fried salty food to accompany it all. Chomp chomp, swig with alcohol...(repeat many times).

Japan's dietary habits are changing. Men and women eat less soy products, consume less milk than ever, have increased the amount of meat in their daily diet...edging toward a more Westernized food fare. Importing some Western ideas are great and all but as for the fast-food and degradation of fine cuisine - keep it to yourself says I!

Alternative energy: human power!

A display panel shows the amount of electricity generated from the mats. People step on a power-generating mat in front of ticket gates in Tokyo Station on Monday.

STRESS is here!!!

Like my friend Yumiko told me, "you will lose weight before your wedding - without effort." I could not understand what she meant at the time, but now I know! No time to eat - time is money. I have yet to find jewelry, hair accesories, get my dress fixed and picked up, finish last touches...who has time to eat?! Though I have been hitting up chocolate and sweets more...this cannot be good for my health!

Yes true, but we are planning a) a dinner on Friday night for all guests from abroad b) daytrip on Saturday to Tokyo for those guests c) bus tour on Monday d) groups of people to be picked up at the airport. I really hope people will enjoy themselves and all this work will be worth it after seeing their smiles. Any complaints and I'm shipping them home - ha ha!

Anyway enough of my complaining. My mom knows I am stressing out in the major and sent me a lovely e-mail on destressing. My favorite part: get some exercise. Yes...I think I will do that! Any more tips from you for getting rid of stress? Need to prevent Bridzilla from coming out!!!

Inner scan by TANITA

This is apicture of our newest TANITA brand scale...my last scale petered out months ago so I had no idea how much I weight - snugness of clothes was the only way to determine!

Japan has some of the most innovative scale technology - years ago before they cropped up in the States, Japan had sophisticated scale technology.

This particular one includes: muscle weight, fat weight, age of your body, and basal metabolism. It is interesting because one's weight and age varies from morning to night. At 11pm I am a youthful 19-years old, at 7am I am an even more youthful 18-years old! It is so fun to use.

According to recent news reports, daily weighing prevents one from piling on the pounds...er kilos. These day I go with kilos - the metric system: the States should really get with it. I really regret not growing up on it.

there is an oopsie...dress woes

The white wedding dress I had ordered fit like a glove...the light blue one, on the other hand...does at the top but is far too long for my petite leggies! Oh no...I thought heels would compensate for the length but even 3-inch heels could not fix the length issue.

I whizzed to the alteration shop and thankfully they had a solution...we'll see how it goes. Worst comes to worst, I figured I could rent a dress in its place. Pictured: the hand-beaded detail work on the dress.

Kaiseki cuisine for the first time!

This past weekend one of our guests came in and we went to a very traditional Japanese restaurant (しの田） which came highly recommended by some housewives in the knitting club. Indeed it was superb! I have never had such delicately and carefully prepared Japanese food. Subtle tastes oozed out of every centimeter of fish...tempura fish bone was surprisingly yummy!

I had no idea before we went but found out it was kaiseki cuisine: authentic, carefully prepared foods based on seasonal ingredients and herbs. Pictured here are some pretty purple しそ, beefsteak herb's flowers.

Kaiseki is quite pricey so know the prices before you go! In Kyoto a kaiseki course will set you back 15,000yen (almost 150USD) at the minimum!

Autumn has come!

Though I am insanely busy, I could not resist blogging more interesting photos and events. I did not find much info on a foreigner couple holding a wedding in Japan so I hope to post more info on the web to help others in their planning.

The leaves are starting to change colour - my favorite is in a park nearby: a road of yellow ginko leaves which shine like they are made of gold! Autumn maple leaves are traditionally Japanese and often used as garnish. This nightlight is so cute - an autumn leaf with a blue ladybug on top, made by the friend of my student. What a treasure it is. Whenever I use it, I think of her!

Make that a double scoop

As we were about to leave the wedding house (from our last meeting with the wedding planner) I inquired about the wedding chapel ceremony program. Was there one and did it only come in Japanese? Answer: Yes there is, and yes only in Japanese! So I spent at least 3-hours translating it and fine-tuning the layout/printout of it.

Phew. This bilingual English-Japanese shindig is turning out to be a lot more work than anticipated!!! All the menus were in both English/Japanese, reception programs in English/Japanese, invitations in English/Japanese, Chapel programs in English/Japanese, place cards in English/Japanese...phew! I am all English-Japanesized out. Bilingual was an option but it does not look 'clean' in the Japanese sense. Hard to explain...looks 'gucho gucho.'

cream puff dress, for my beloved one?

Baker Valentyn Shtefano and his bride Viktoriya show off her wedding gown, which Shtefano made out of flour, eggs, sugar and caramel in the western Ukrainian city of Uzhhorod in Aug. 27, 2006. The edible dress, made of 1,500 cream puffs and weighing in at 20 pounds (9 kilograms), took the 28-year-old baker two months to make. (AP Photo)

Thanks Mavis for sending this to me!

DHC and security intercoms (thank God for both!)

It is my holy grail of cleansers! Try it and see for yourself.

From the DHC website:
Superstar. Try this amazing cleanser and you’ll see why it’s our most popular product worldwide. Dirt, excess oil, makeup—even waterproof mascara—and other pore-cloggers dissolve easily, leaving your face a grime-free zone that is soft to the touch. Its unique water-soluble formula rinses completely, so you’ll never see a greasy residue. Olive oil, rosemary oil, and vitamin E ensure you won’t see dryness either.

I got my DHC package from the delivery man at 9:20 in the morning. I was doing some wedding stuff on my PC and still in my PJ's as I heard the downstairs intercom go off. I buzzered him in, sprinted around, threw on clothes, brushed my teeth and by the time he rang I looked somewhat awake. This is the good thing about living in a condo - if someone buzzers you at home, you have got at least 1 minute to freshen up before meeting face to face.

Do what?!?!?!

We have to what? Reprint what?! Oh nooooo...the wedding planner alerted us of some mistakes in the draft of our wedding reception program. Hiro's mother and sister are part of his direct nuclear family by using the honorific title of ’様’sama, it would give it an unnatural sense of distance. Again, hard to explain. (the photo is a blurry photo I used for our wedding programs)

Wedding programs in Japan include:
1) The bride and groom's new address and tel.
2) Thanks to all the guests
3) Special thanks to others (wedding planner, emcee, etc)
4) Profile (favorites, how they met, why they like each other)
5) Seating chart
6) (sometimes a menu)

holy pig out!

My friends Mie and Nao had a wedding party at a cake shop. Who knew that could be done?! I doubted they could make good pasta but boy, was I wrong. There was more than enough food for 70 people but actually around 45 people attended.

The pic to the left is Mont Blanc (chestnut paste, whip cream, yellow cake parfait...it was bigger than one's head. See the picture to the bottom - a normal Mont Blanc is the size of a small muffin. What a giant bowl of Mont Blanc it was!!!

How 'bout a carrot&burdock root rice burger?

It was umm umm good, better than Campbell's! This burger is a series of rice patty burgers at MossBurger. I have decided that if I go out for fast food, I will only go to MossBurger...that is if I have a choice. If others are with me or if I visit my grandma in Taiwan, KFC is a sure stop - no discussion allowed!

MossBurger takes time to make hamburgers right as you order it. The ingredients do not lack flavor and taste like they have been chopped centuries ago. Hmm, 'centuries ago' - a bit of a hyperbole but it makes for more effective imagery, don't you think?

I give the carrot and gobo burger a thumbs up. The carrot ad burdock root is battered and fried but overall seems healthy enough for lunch. I got this burger without fries and sides, as tempting as it was. It was enough to keep hunger at bay for another 4 or 5 hours.

Out for the big day

Sorry but I will not be posting for quite some time. With the big day in less than 2 weeks and all kinds of last-minute details, the blog is the last thing on my mind right now. Check back toward the end of October or beginning of November for updates!

Vivian

another rainy day and routine life

As depressing as I find rain, I am trying my best to look for the good in it. I mean, there is not much about the weather we can control, er at least not in this century! Weather science has a long way to go before we can manipulate it, and even if we could, it might be a very scary day indeed.

Good things about rain: makes it easy to nap, soothes my nerves, sounds nice - esp at night, waters plants and beautiful flowers, allows us to enjoy rainy day specials at cafes...

So often we are fed up with our routine, daily life. I can understand doing the same thing day in and out can become monotonous but I think that is life, we should enjoy even the routine bits. Today I woke up, went for a jog before getting rained out, prepared breakfast (skim milk, soba noodles, miso soup, cabbage and veggie stir-fry), finished packing Hiro's bento box (just leftovers from last night...hee hee), washed up after breakfast, am preparing for work and the wedding. All very routine but all in its own way unique and delightful.

Here's how:
I ran past Morgen bakery (see pic) and smelled amaaazing bread
My veggie fry turned out better than expected
Miso soup making has become easy and results, consistent
The liquor shop nearby is starting to sell 新米 shinmai, freshly harvested rice
The roads were peaceful and unpolluted (at 7am)
I indulged in a small donut after breakfast because I was still hungry
The little things in life are what we have to appreciate. How about your day? What were the delightful bits? Seeing a smile? Giving a smile? Doing a favor? Getting a favor?

shall we dance?

Last night we had our first dance lesson, one of hopefully a series of lessons to prepare for our big wedding dance. Yes, we are less than three weeks away but as I often find myself saying, 'better late than never!'

We were so fortunate to have Gunther (goon-tah) as our dance coach - as a native of Austria (Vienna), dancing is like second nature. I was surprised to hear that Vienna is home to more than 300 balls a year. It sounds so lavish and indulgent, and so wonderful...dancing around, truly embracing life!

It was Hiro's first time dancing and to my surprise, he was really good - had a real knack for it. His sense of rhythm and ability to lead and direct the lady (er, me) was excellent. Perhaps we will not be as hopeless on the dance floor as I imagined. As for me...I had some experience as my dad's dance partner in my high school days but I was never very good at it. ^_~

Dancing is fun. I wish people in Japan did more of it!

after almost 10 years of being a loyal Yahoo member

Oh God! I could just about KILL YAHOO MAIL RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My complete list of addresses is GONE. Empty. Bye bye. Sayonara the Japanese goooodbye.

My NOTEPAD full of reminders (anniversaries, people's birthdays, addresses of friends/relatives, wedding plans, etc) is gone too.

Very untimely but strangely enough, I want to scream and cry and burst out...but all I can think is 'shoganai' What is done is done. Time to focus my energy on rebuilding.

SOOOOo, please send me an e-mail with you e-mail address folks. If you do not, I might not know how to get a hold of you.

Thanks,

A very suddenly busy...even busier Vivian!!!

UPDATE: Somehow things have been recovered and I spent 2 hours backing up my important data, something I should have done ages ago!!! My friend just had her computer crash so I suppose I should have taken that as a warning and not this close call. Yahoo restored my data (or maybe there was a temporary systems glitch today) and things are back to normal. As great as e-mail is, it sure does sometimes cause us much headache and concern, doesn't it?

For those of you wondering if I was sobbing over my PC - reread my previous paragraph. I felt like screaming and crying but instead, furiously worked to recover what I could and minimize damage. This is a good sign: my rational brain in a time of great stress. So shoganai is not such a bad word after all...just getting over it and moving on, sometimes a good thing!

to invite or not to invite? WHO to invite?

Oh the agony!!!

Back home, weddings are open to almost everyone. Someone, say an ex, can even arrive uninvited to crash a wedding party! Most often people invite someone and that someone often comes with a partner (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife). This is definitely NOT the case in Japan.

10 months ago I started asking people about wedding etiquette. What kinds of people could we invite to our ceremony. I wanted to invite my Japanese teacher but then that would be strange...here's why: if I invited her, she would feel obligated to pay the typicaly congratulatory wedding gift of 30,000yen (roughly 300USD), even if I told her not to. Then what is the point of having given her all that money in the past for lessons she taught...so is what I thought.

In Japan, most people only invite family and very close friends (sometimes obligatory business associates, colleagues, or parent's biz partners are invited). Other friends can attend the NIJIKAI, an after party held at some pub, bar, or restaurant almost immediately after the reception. Another issue for me was whether or not to invite friends from overseas. I wanted to invite many from my hometown (Woodstock, Illinois) or university day friends (Toronto, Canada) but decided not to open that kettle of fish. If I invited so-and-so, another so-and-so would ask me why I did not invite him or her. What a dilemma, indeed!

The only exception being my best friend Jessie, with whom I had made a promise with in my childhood days to attend each other's weddings. Now due to moving and other personal circumstances she will not be able to make it, but I hope she will visit us after we have settled down in our married life!

The asshole is not in office! politics talk...

Sorry for my bout of profanity, a rare thing for me! Nevertheless I could not help but use it as a play on the name for an ex-prime minister candidate, Taro Aso (tah-roh ah-soh). Granted, I should give him a chance before launching any verbal attacks...however, I have a natural inclination to dislike politicians, lawyers, lobbyists - you know, jobs where corporate and politics ethics cloud personal ethics, HUMAN ethics.

Very recently Shinzo Abe (see picture) took rein, taking over Koizumi's position as prime minister. Most people breathed a sigh of relief with the end of the Koizumi era, a time which people blame for the increasingly stratification of classes, deepening economic woes, and failing social security & pension system. The general sentiment being: "It is high time he left!"

As for Shinzo, we will see where he leads Japan with his policies. Something I dislike is his conservative stance on foreign policy though he seems to be strangely proactive in making amends with China and Korea. Hmm, I remain very suspicious. What are his true intentions - is it all an act, merely for show? Only time will tell.

One thing I know for sure is that he has a decent smile - one that makes him look human, likeable, and not smarmy or sneaky like that (smile) of Koizumi. Another thing - I trust him more because he is married and has a stable family life, unlike Koizumi, the self-proclaimed eternal playboy (and pervert from what tabloids 'report').

great results require great effort!

I often wonder how the weight loss industry and rob people blind they way they do. If you are not already aware of it, the weight loss biz is a multi-billion dollar industry in America! If you really think about it, they do NOT want you to succeeed. I mean, if one could lose weight easily by simply popping a pill at each meal, the whole industry would go under overnight!

My former employer tried to get me into Herbalife shakes, something he credited his miraculous (not to mention speedy) weight loss with. Admittedly I was impressed...that is, until rebound weight started surfacing. There it is folks, there is no easy way to lose weight. You can do every diet in the book and even start eating grass but unless you get that arse of yours moving, nothing is going to budge.

You could do what some women in developed nations do: fast until one achieves the thinness they desire - and this works just fine...that is, until 10 years later when their bone density is next to zero and one haphazard fall could make their bones shatter into a trillion pieces. Um, no, I do not recommend it!

Dieting facts, according to Vivian:
Calorie deprivation makes you feel just that - deprived!
Eating diet centre prepared meals are okay, until you stop
Meal replacement shakes are not satisfying
Energy bars give no more energy than a typical chocolate bar
Feelings of unfulfillment inevitably lead to disaster (i.e. sugar binges)
Diet pills result in serotonin loss, heart/kidney/liver damage

Things that are effective:
Exercise, lots of it
More exercise
Muscle toning and building
More and more cardio exercise
Reducing portion sizes of carbs
Increasing vegetable, fruits, and nut servings
Consume healthy protein (tofu, nuts, beans)
Accepting your body as is!

oops, I spoke too soon.

Remember a while back when I mentioned about whitening products being harmless, from what I could see? Well, looks like it is time for me to retract that statement. Recently China turned down shipments of SK-II, a very well-known Japanese product known for its effectiveness in whitening and brightening one's skin.

It supposedly contains various dangerous chemicals or other toxic components, the kinds that are banned in China. If even China has banned it, you know it has got to be quite bad! Moreover it is said that many whitening products contain mercury but do not disclose it in the ingredients list. Buyers beware!

What about having white skin in Asia, anyway? When I was a child, I liked my face best when tanned and rosy looking. White is nice and all (youth, elegance?) but at times I feel like my complexion is pasty-looking sickly pale!

tanning before the wedding?!

I recall my high school days in the months preceding the prom or homecoming dances, my classmates often shared stories about going to the tanning salon to achieve a bronzed goddess look for the big event. Similarly, women back home hit the tanning beds before their 'big day.' Check out the picture of a tanning bed, strikingly similar to the George Foreman's Lean Mean Grilling Machine...hmm.

This is a stark contrast from Japan where women make desperate attempts to whiten their decolletage and more importantly, face. (With the exception of orange-faced freaky ganguro Japanese girls!) Treatments at aesthetic salons exist, of course, only if you are willing to shell out the mula for it! Speaking of whitening, see my next post on that...

interesting facts

From Psychology Today magazine (2003).
Recent research has found couples who participate in premarital education have stronger marriages than those who get hitched without such preparation.

Researchers at Brigham Young University in Utah (BYU) and the University of Minnesota analyzed 23 studies conducted over the past 30 years to examine the effectiveness of premarital counseling programs. They found that couples who received counseling scored 30 percent higher on tests that rated their level of communication and overall satisfaction with their spouses. Premarital education often includes teaching couples about conflict resolution, marital roles, sexuality and financial management.

July 2006 USA Today
By Sharon Jayson
More couples are getting premarital education, perhaps thinking it may give their new marriages divorce protection. And new research suggests they may well be right. Premarital education "is associated with higher levels of marital satisfaction, lower levels of destructive conflicts and higher levels of interpersonal commitment to spouses," says the study, published this spring in the Journal of Family Psychology.

Based on a random phone survey of 3,344 adults in four states, it says couples who received premarital education had a 31% lower chance of divorce. The number of hours spent in premarital programs ranged from as little as a few hours to 20 hours. The median was eight hours.

pre-marriage education - like immunization?

Recently I have been doing some personal research on pre-marital counseling. As overboard as it sounds, it does seem to affect a couple's future relationship in a very positive way. It is said that there is a kind of 'window of opportunity' the year before the wedding and 1/2 a year after when couples have peak potential for counseling. After that, stress, annoying habits, and other relationship patterns may have set root and become harder to resolve.

Here's a list of some relationship skill and knowledge areas that research has shown to contribute to the success and endurance of marriage:
· Compatibility
· Expectations
· Personality differences and families-of-origin
· Communication style
· Conflict resolution
· Intimacy and sexuality
· Long-term goals
· Beliefs about parenting and having children
· Beliefs about money
· Lifestyle expectations
· Friends and interests
· Family backgrounds (families-of-origin)

And your final question...have we been to couples counseling yet? The answer is yes, in Tokyo, and at a very hefty price!!! (an excellent certified, bilingual counselor) At first Hirotsugu was quite reluctant to go but had a change of heart and agreed on it. The funny part was when I asked the counselor about couples who go...which party is the instigator.

9 times out of 10 the foreign partner in the couple makes the suggestion to see a counselor. That just goes to say how culturally 'acceptable' counseling is here in the East. As you know, only CRAZY people go to counseling. (for my Japanese readers: yes, I am being very sarcastic here...back in North America everyone and their dog has a personal shrink...ok even more sarcastic)

picture: a Rorschach inkblot (not related to couples counseling...just psychology in general)