pre-marriage education - like immunization?

Recently I have been doing some personal research on pre-marital counseling. As overboard as it sounds, it does seem to affect a couple's future relationship in a very positive way. It is said that there is a kind of 'window of opportunity' the year before the wedding and 1/2 a year after when couples have peak potential for counseling. After that, stress, annoying habits, and other relationship patterns may have set root and become harder to resolve.

Here's a list of some relationship skill and knowledge areas that research has shown to contribute to the success and endurance of marriage:
· Compatibility
· Expectations
· Personality differences and families-of-origin
· Communication style
· Conflict resolution
· Intimacy and sexuality
· Long-term goals
· Beliefs about parenting and having children
· Beliefs about money
· Lifestyle expectations
· Friends and interests
· Family backgrounds (families-of-origin)

And your final question...have we been to couples counseling yet? The answer is yes, in Tokyo, and at a very hefty price!!! (an excellent certified, bilingual counselor) At first Hirotsugu was quite reluctant to go but had a change of heart and agreed on it. The funny part was when I asked the counselor about couples who go...which party is the instigator.

9 times out of 10 the foreign partner in the couple makes the suggestion to see a counselor. That just goes to say how culturally 'acceptable' counseling is here in the East. As you know, only CRAZY people go to counseling. (for my Japanese readers: yes, I am being very sarcastic here...back in North America everyone and their dog has a personal shrink...ok even more sarcastic)

picture: a Rorschach inkblot (not related to couples counseling...just psychology in general)