Small ecstasy use 'harms brain'

Back in my university days, Ecstasy was a bit 'hit' in the clubbing scene. Most of my friends were smart enough to stay away from it, but I cannot say the same for others. My brother always told me if he were to find out I was taking drugs, he would beat me to a pulp. So I steered clear away from them. Good thing for big brothers.

At a New Year's party about 80-90% of the attendees were 'high' on ecstasy. I was not impressed. Furthermore the pills cost around 20 dollars a pop! Anyway, I just enjoyed the show of seeing everyone make a fool out of themself. Afterwards I had to drive my friend home in her car because she was 'under the influence.' Not my ideal way of ringing in the new millenium but what a memorable 2000 it was.

Half a million Britons are believed to take ecstasy each week. Even small amounts of the illegal drug ecstasy can be harmful to the brains of first time users, researchers say.

The University of Amsterdam team took brain scans and carried out memory tests on 188 people with no history of ecstasy use but at risk in the future. They repeated the tests 18 months later, and found for the 59 people who had used ecstasy there was evidence of decreased blood flow and memory loss.

Long-term ecstasy use is already known to be harmful. The class A drug is used by about 500,000 people in the UK, mostly on the club scene. We know long-term use has a lasting impact so it makes sense that damage starts as soon as someone starts to use the drug
Dr Fabrizio Schifano, of the University of Hertfordshire

Research has shown that long-term or heavy ecstasy use can damage neurons and cause depression, anxiety, confusion, difficulty sleeping and decrease memory. However, no previous studies have looked at the side-effects of low doses of the drug on first time users.

We love Sumitomo!

Alway having been skeptical of those scary large corporations, I was not too thrilled when I found out my husband was working for one of them. Somewhere along the line while back in liberal Toronto, I got into my head the notion that big major corporations are evil. While this is true in some cases, the same cannot always be said for others.

In Japan it is sign of status, working at a stable big company like Hitachi, Toyota, Sony, and so on. They provide job security and perks like: very reasonable shared company housing, broad insurance plans, and other beneficial subsidies. From what I have heard, Sumitomo treats its employees quite well and sincerely cares about them. An "employees first" kind of company must be a good one, if you ask me. Not to mention, Hiro's colleagues and superiors are all such kind people. I immediately took a liking to the quirky bunch.

If you are planning to buy a house in Japan, you can get a discount through my husband. ^_^ Here is the website for more information on Sumitomo Forestry homes. Oh, the only thing I dislike is Sumitomo's lame mascot...(see this entry's pic)...like a mutated chestnut...AGHHH!

not just puppy love

"FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER"
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.

A relationships coach who lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluatingthe prospects of long-term marital success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner,no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss.Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is theresult of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone". You need a lot more!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself:
QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. (1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line: marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with thisperson? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that Iwon't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world:(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc... How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly asmuch for them? Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others! You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or alow self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.

Neither one of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1. TRUST (we had everything except this, so close to a good healthy relationship)
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace the passion.

Years ago a friend sent me this e-mail which, I found, at the time, kind of cheesy...years later I took a glance at it in my mailbox from time to time and started thinking it made a lot of sense after all. It helped me keep in mind that while passion and love are great, they are not the ultimate foundation of a healthy relationship. I hope this article helps you (you know who you are...my friend considering marriage now)keep the factors that count in mind!

シークヮーサー Sikuwasa (see-kwa-sah)

This morning while checking out the news, I am sipping on a very refreshing tangy drink, made by yours truly. Sikuwasa (the latin name is citrus depressa), a type of citrus fruit, makes for a great alternative to your usual lemonade. It is a native fruit of tropical Okinawa, and is green-skinned outside while orange within.

Too sour to be consumed on its own, most people throw in some sugar syrup or melted honey into this citrus drink. If you happen to live in a tropical region, adding sugarcane is said to be great for taste and one's health! The taste? A cross between a tangerine and a lime, with a touch of bitter peel. Think of an unripe, bright green tangerine!

The drink is sold, for the most part, bottled in concentrate - 100%!!! If you buy it, you only need about 5ml to every 250ml. Potent stuff it is. On top of that a super-sized dose of vitamin C and nobiletin, a polymethoxyflavonoid. (One of my students once drank a can of it not knowing it should be diluted, ta ha ha ha ha. It looks deceivingly like Orangina orange juice)

Try this specialty drink if you can get your hands on some! It adds a little bit of sunshine to your life on a gloomy rainy day, like today in Tsukuba.

Could it be true? A new way to multiply.

For geeks only. Then again, even if you are not into mathematics, this is pretty cool.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/multiply

Have time? Don't have it but wanna have fun?

For those of you who love playing Pictionary and charades, this is right up your alley. Talk about a great way to kill time (hima-tsubushi, in Japanese)! My highest score with another player was 1100 points...going for 1200!

The thing about this game is, it is VERY addictive - watch out. That and I feel some people rely too much on colors and shapes instead of what the picture as a whole says. If you are imaginative, this one's for you:
http://images.google.com/imagelabeler/

scatter, scatter, boom boom boom!

Three months after having moved in and the place is still a mess! Again, like I said before, we put off a lotttttt of things in order to prepare for the wedding and entertaining wedding guests!

The reason why I really had to get cracking with the cleaning/unpacking was I could not find my winter pajammies! I was freezing my butt off at night and needed a serious mountain of blankets just to keep moderately warm.

Finally under scuba gear in a box, I 'unearthed' two pajama sets. They smell of cardboard at the moment so in the wash they go.

I really want to get to posting about the Tahiti trip...but for now, it is on the back burner! Until later.

How kind the post office is!!!

Though some people complain about post office service in Japan, I beg to differ. Except for the unusually high rates for overseas packages, I am more than satisfied with Japanese postal services. For one thing, they do not bash around packages - each parcel is handled with care. Back in the States my letters and packages often ended up in pieces!

I sent a letter to my cousin Michelle in Gifu prefecture - it was mailed back to me with a message attached, stating it needed an extra 40 yen for postage due to the unusual envelope size. They did not even cancel the stamp like they do in America or Canada. I was so pleased with the post office people. They may be disgruntled back home, but here I receive service above and beyond.

One cafe, one theme

What attracts people to cafes? I used to think it was the food itself but now I am thinking less and less so. Good service, hot (and not lukewarm or cold) food, well-made drinks, and something unique. Naturally, the main dish should be tasty but sometime cafes succeed solely on the laurels of their dessert entrees.

This particular cafe, Secret Base, makes cute face designs in your coffee, milk, or tea. This design was made with caramel flavouring syrup...what art it is! Another thing this cafe is known for is cream puffs, or SHOE CREAM, as I like to joke. [Japanese call cream puffs choux--ku-ree-mu, a homonym for 'shoe cream.'] The cream puff is, in itself is nothing special, the taste was mediocre at best...but the way they arrange it on a plate with syrup, fruits, ice cream, and whipped cream...magic! Oh, and did I mention they drizzle the sauces or syrups on the plate, right in from of the customer who ordered it?! Talk about putting on a show for the crowd, hee hee.

What can I say? The place was packed on a work day from 11:30-2pm, and it has only been in business for 1 1/2 years! Sheer proof that having something to set you apart from the crowd makes a difference!

autumn, my favorite time of year

Though spring has more romantic overtones and is a ready sign of hope, youth, and freshness, I cannot help but think that fall is my favorite time of year in Japan. [Fall in America was pleasant but for some reason (perhaps due to the milder weather and delish food in Japan) I did not relish it as much as fall in Japan!]

This picture is taken from a nearby park. No matter how many times I walk the course, I always feel a renewed sense of peace and contentment. Humans should live more in nature - it is like yoga without all the funky body contortion involved. :)

I love eating persimmons, late Asian pears (nashi), pumpkin, charcoal roasted sweet potatoes, freshly dug up potatoes, just harvested rice, tons of mushrooms, Fuji apples (the kind with a clear honey-like centre!!!), chestnuts, lotus root, satoimo (taro root), and more... Doesn't your mouth water just at the thought of such foods?! I cannot help but cook more than usual, buy more than usual, and, ummm, alas, EAT more than usual. Hee hee. To the chagrin of my waistline.

Well, we only live once!

After the big game...the peace

Some former brides speak of 'post-wedding' blues, a period of sadness after a big high. First the big wedding and then the honeymoon to top it off. After the honeymoon I felt somewhat down, nothing serious though. I kept thinking there was more to plan or do, but the wedding has ended, hee hee...good thing Christmas and New Year's is right around the corner. Nothing like preparing loads of Christmas and New Year's cards...wooo.

The trick is to have another goal in line before the wedding has ended. Before the big day, Hiro asked me what my the next item on my agenda was...my answer, passing the JLPT 2-level Japanese proficiency test! Are you someone who needs to be constantly busy? I do not know about you, but boredom kills me.

The easy part was getting married...now it is time for the hard part, staying married. There will be ups and downs for sure, but all in all end up being a fun journey together in life! It took a lot of work and a big serving of fate to get here, we should be thankful.

Thanksgiving in Japan...

For all of you wondering, NO, there is no Thanksgiving Day in Japan. And for you Americans out there, Thanksgiving Day is held in October in Canada. ^_^ I think that is due to the colder climate and earlier seasonal harvest.

Though it is not celebrated here, we do have the delight of celebrating a day off! Yesterday was 'labor day' in Japan. Most people were off but a great deal were still working. You might be thinking "oh, that's typical of workaholic Japan." Well, that might be a half-truth: their thinking being that they can add the missed day off to a longer holiday, making their New Year's or Golden Week/Obon holiday longer.

I enjoyed 'Thanksgiving' here in the company of my friends. Did I miss a traditional Turkey Day dinner? Kinda but not especially. I love turkey, gravy, candied sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, corn, cranberry jelly, pumpkin pie, stuffing and all the trimmings...yet I do not miss what it does to the waistline or makes me feel - very bloated and full.

Oh, terrible!

Hello Kitty nail acrylics? As much as I like Kitty-chan, I have got to say that this one takes the cake...and looks awful, if I may add!!!

Before the honeymoon I tried to remove my nails but I did not know how. Nail polish remover did not work either...so 8 days into the vacation, I went nuts and attacked my fingers, peeling off each nail feverishly while bored on the inter-island plane. :)

Sorry if you are a fake-nail fan, but they are definitely not something I think are worth the time/money! My priorities are elsewhere.

It is official! We're really married now.

On November 22nd, 2006 we headed down to city hall to formally register our marriage! It felt a little bit strange because we already felt 'married' from our ceremony on 10/22.

It is said that 11/22 stands for １１・２２・いい・ふーふ・良い・夫婦, which is kind of a play on words, ultimately meaning, 'good couple.'

Well a sunny day and cooperative day is a great way to start out our new life together! For such an event, it called for a special meal...we ate at La Charente, a wonderful authentic French restaurant here in Tsukuba. Reservations must be (due to the limited # of tables!) made if you are planning to eat there around dinner time.

A Polynesian Recipe

Poisson Cru ( Tahitian marinated fresh fish):
A refreshing salad composed of fresh fish cut in bite sized cubes and raw vegetables marinated in lime juice and coconut cream,( for 4 persons ):
1 kg. fresh tuna
2 carrots
2 tomatoes
8 limes
3 small green onions
1 clove garlic
1 small cucumber, the pressed cream of one grated coconut.
Cut the tuna in cubes and rinse with salted water. Let fish soak in the salted water in the refrigerator with the clove of garlic crushed, for a half hour. Grate coarsely or chop the vegetables. Drain the fish, then cover with the juice of the limes, allowing the fish to 'cook' for about five minutes in the lime juice. Drain and discard the lime juice. Add the vegetables and the coconut cream to the fish. Add salt and pepper to taste. mix well, and serve chilled. Bon appetit !

Small face?

Read behind the phenomenon which is sending women in droves to the aesthetic beauty salon to get a few tucks, snips, implants, added cartilage, collagen implants, and bone shaving done. 100% of the high-profile actresses (and almost 100% of actors) have had some kind of 'work' done. If you don't believe me, ask for proof. I would rather not post it in my blog because it would take up too too too much space! There is less evidence for surgery for actors and more for actresses, for some reason. Also, if the person has a great PR team, like Noriko Fujiwara, there are few or virtually NO pictures of them when they were younger, and sometimes, for good reason!

Small face By ALICE GORDENKER

Dear Alice,
I just don't get it. I go to the drugstore and there are all kinds of crazy products that claim to give you a "small face." I've seen facials and massages for the same purpose. Then today I saw a magazine cover with "small-face hairstyles," which I guess are supposed to make your face look smaller. What is the big deal with having a small face? Better yet, what the heck IS a small face? I can't tell, even after more than five years in Japan.
Sally C., Omiya, Saitama Prefecture

Dear Sally,
To be honest, I wasn't sure I could face another question on physical appearance, coming as yours did right on the heels of last month's query about bowlegs. I haven't been able to stop checking my limbs for signs of impending crookedness, and now I have to worry if my face is the right size? But you piqued my curiosity, and a quick check proved you're on top of a trend -- small faces are big!

The expressions kogao (small face) and kao ga chiisai (having a small face) came into vogue around the mid 1990s, first used for models and celebrities who were thought to look particularly stylish because they had good overall proportions and facial features that made their faces look small and attractive. The beauty industry picked up on the talk, and began to offer products and services to cater to the new consciousness about face size.

One of the first successful small-face products was a face cream introduced by Shiseido Co. in 1996. Called Lostalot (as in, "She lost a lot of her face"), it worked to make the face look smaller by tightening the skin, and contained caffeine to break down subcutaneous facial fat. It was an instant hit, and the next year ranked in the top five on magazine Nikkei Trendy's annual hit-product list.

A spate of "kogao goods" followed, including masks, chin slings and any number of face creams. Beauty maven Fumiko Inudo has built an entire business around books, videos and seminars that teach facial exercises to make your face smaller. Women's magazines offer regular features on how to use cosmetics and hairstyles to achieve the small-face look.

But even with this information in hand, I couldn't begin to tell you what qualifies as a small face. So I paid a visit to Ruriko Takano, an expert in the psychology of beauty at Shiseido. She explained that it's not a matter of absolute size but of good balance in facial features.
"Someone who is seen as having a small face may have features such as large eyes, a small chin and not much space around the mouth," Takano explained. "The kogao look also requires some depth and dimension in the features so the face doesn't appear broad and flat." She reported that Japanese of both sexes, when asked to rate different faces, tend to favor female faces that look childish and innocent. "Such faces seem to be attractive to us because they stimulate nurturing feelings."

Height and build also enter into the small-face equation because any face will appear smaller when perched atop a long, leggy body. The ideal seems to be having a head that makes up one-eighth of your total height, expressed in Japanese as hattoshin (literally, eight-heads-body). This, my friend Yoshiko told me, is the head-body ratio most Westerners have, while Japanese noggins are more likely to be bigger in proportion to the body. That body type worked fine when Japanese wore kimono and big hair, she said, but makes it harder to look stylish in Western clothing.

To build your powers of kogao recognition, try searching out some famous examples. Easy ones to spot are models Yuri Ebihara (whose photo graces our column today) and Moe Oshikiri. Another is actress Manami Konishi, who usually ranks number one on kogao lists compiled by the Japanese media, closely followed by minimugged colleagues like pop singers Namie Amuro and Ayumi Hamasaki.

I asked Takano if she had any idea why the kogao boom developed when it did. Her theory is that tastes in faces have changed along with the media that present them. "A big face is an asset in a stage actress, because the audience can see her facial expressions more easily," she noted. "But movies, television and the Internet have brought celebrities closer to us and changed what we find attractive."

Too many LV bags quotes Akiko Wada

One thing that bothers Wada is the penchant for young Japanese girls to use brand-name goods to make themselves appear to be something they are not. She recalls going into a Louis Vuitton store in Paris when she was young and being told by the salesperson that she shouldn’t buy a bag because it wouldn’t be right for just yet.

“Basically, I was told to wait until I was older. Well today, it’s all different. Japan got rich too quickly. We are the No. 1 consumers of Louis Vuitton. Japanese girls buy these bags, thinking it makes them classy or like celebrities, when in reality, they are far from it.”

Go anywhere in Japan and you will see tons of LV toting girls on the trains and in the streets. It is shocking that such a bland logo and design could attract so many die-hard followers. The fakes are really easy to detect. HELLO gals, the logo is upside down, does that not SHOUT counterfeit to you? I have seen many 'reputable' outlets loaded with the blaringly fake goods...I sure hope people don't fall prey to it. My ex co-worker was showing off her new LV bag when I noticed the upside down LV...oh no, I did not have the heart to tell her it was a fake. Maybe she knew and maybe she didn't. Either way, I sure hope she didn't pay more than 30 bucks for it!

I bought a cute pink (ha ha, I know you are laughing as you read this, Elsie!) Coach bag a year or so ago, which I was at first fond of, but then annoyed at. First I had to worry that the cloth surface would get soiled easily when I put it down. Then, I noticed it really lacked in the capacity department. Finally, it cost a bunch, even though it was bought from the U.S.!!! Finally I started toting around my reasonable black handbag which I can happily toss around and not worry about. Now that is life! That Coach bag was my first and last somewhat designer bag purchase.

The only 'name-brand' handbags I owned were 3 Prada bags, all given to me by some relatives. I was gracious they gave them to me but would much prefer to have a nice dinner in their company over stimulating conversation. More so in Japan, designer bags are a kind of status item, and sometimes boosts one's image and/or self-esteem. If you ask me, rather than buying image, they should look inside and boost their image...for free! C'mon j-gals, stop pretending to be someone you are not. It gets tiring and old. ps: both bags pictured are fakes

on rice and soy sauce storage

From the Kikkoman website:An unopened glass bottle of soy sauce will keep for two years without any deterioration in taste or quality if it is stored in a cool, dark place. Once the bottle has been opened, we suggest that you keep it in the refrigerator. For table use, soy sauce tastes best when used within a month after opening.

For cooking purposes, a three-month-old bottle will still be perfectly adequate. Low sodium soy sauce should always be refrigerated after opening, because the low salt content makes it more susceptible to "oxidation." When soy sauce is exposed to oxygen, its color becomes darker and the flavor weakens.

My student, Tomoko from riceland (Niigata prefecture) told me she stores rice in a 2L plastic PET bottle. I have since adopted that way of keeping rice. It is said to preserve the original moisture in rice often lost during storage. Moist grains of uncooked rice turn out tastier than the dry ones, which is why SHIN-mai (new rice harvest of the year) is soooo delish!

take action, Japan

Something like 25 students have sent letters to the Japanese Ministry of Education threatening to commit suicide. At first it started with one or two letters and by the time we got back from my honeymoon, I heard that figure made an exponential jump. In addition, there was plenty of news on actual suicides commited by mostly junior high schoolers who were victims of bullies.

I think the attitude in Japan to bullying is something like, "hmm, let's just wait and see what happens." In this case, the Daoist principle of action by inaction does not apply you morons! In the meantime, such bullying gets progressively worse and sometimes, in the worst case, the child feels there is no way out except for 'really out' of this world. What a pity.

Reasons why I think bullying is becoming problematic in Japan:
- the old emphasis on uniformity and conforming
- working parents who do not have time to be with their children
- breakdown of the family
- mass media
- poor self-esteem (of bully and bullied)
- inactive school administration, teachers
- parents who cannot notice changes in their children
- children have lost their ability to communicate properly, whether it be because of social isolation, too many video games, existence of cell phones for even elementary kids!

When I was in 8th grader, I was terribly bullied by three girls. The leader of them, Jessica Pilarski, was a girl who was popular out of sheer fear, so I theorize. They often wrote me nasty messages, tried to trip me in the hallways, threw down my books, and even told me I smelled like sushi. Um, stupid girl - sushi is Japanese not Chinese. Again, not all but some Americans are really dumb and know nothing about Asia. Back to the topic, I told my father a little bit and he seemed concerned but also confident that I would get myself out of it. My brother was in the army and could not do much about it either.

You may ask how it ended? A few things happened. The band teacher noticed I was being bullied and pulled the girl and I aside to have a 'chat' with us. The world history teacher did the same as well. He was particularly nasty to her and at least in that class, the bullying came to an end. Ironically a bigger bully (my neighbor, Kelly) bullied them (threatened them never to bother me again) and they never again bothered me. I was lucky to have a supportive family, friends, and teachers during that time. Sometimes I wished I could disappear but somehow I got by. That experience made me stronger and as a result, I did not put down people or join in on bullying in high school.

To this day I wonder what happened to a girl named Anna Donelli, who was from an impoverished family (from her appearances I gathered that) and was mercilessly teased by the children in our 7th grade music class. I felt terrible for her and after she suddenly disappeared off to home-schooling, and on occasion wonder what became of her.

Being Asian in an all-Caucasian town was never easy. Because of that I am very reluctant to go back to such a narrow-minded town. I do not regret growing up there, yet, at the same time, I cannot imagine living there again.

Getting back into the swing of things!

This is a good example of the Japanese bath. The shower and bath areas are separate, making the whole bathing process a bit more complex. One should scrub oneself thoroughly before entering the bath. After soaking, one may scrub again, rinse, and re-enter the bathtub. Japanese tubs are deep but a bit narrow and a pain for anyone over 180cm!

The funniest story I recall: an AEON teacher (slightly plump) recounted a story about getting stuck in the bathtub but none of her students cracked a laugh. Talk about embarrassing - not just the situation itself, but the non-reaction bit.

Washing this took close to one-hour this morning. Oh my goodness, I am wiped out! At first glance it looked spic and span to begin with, however, within the crevices and under some tubing were gutters full of muck. Ewwww. It was my first such experience! I never grew up with such things, I had and still have no clue on where to get started when washing. If you live in the West, you can be grateful that cleaning the tub is only a fraction of the work that it is in Japan!!!

I have thoroughly lost my appetite for lunch now. Time to get to other chores before work starts. Don't start envying me yet - though I start work late, I also finish work late, around 10 p.m.! There is SO much to do it makes my head spin. Putting off cleaning and other household chores in the months before the wedding is finally catching up...ooooooo.

My great birthday present!

Please meet Pillowtsugu. Ha ha, Hirotsugu said that his own present made him redundant, that I don't need him anymore.

In contrast to other body pillows, this one is filled with microbeads, making it especially great...the thing contours to every inch of your body! He said he got this idea after seeing me attack all the fluffy jumbo sized hotel pillows on our honeymoon.

I highly recommend this. I have heard that it is especially good for pregnant women who have discomfort in some sleep positions. (not to say that I am pregnant!)

It is sooo good to cook again!

On cooking: the feeling of vegetables, the smell of them, peeling them slowly while savoring each moment. That has become more precious after the honeymoon. Eating out day after day was nice at first, but by the end, I could not wait to cook my own food! Even more than that, I desperately wanted to get more than 1/2 a serving of vegetables a day.

Food in Tahiti, Bora Bora, and Rangiroa:
French Polynesia consists of variousu islands and atolls, making access to food and other goods limited. The result? Crazy expensive goods and a severe lack of fresh veggies.

I have what I call the McDonalds price comparison system. As much as I loathe McDonalds for what it does to people's health, I sometimes (once in a blue moon) eat it, especially while abroad. Reason being I want to check out and rate each country's McFood...and you can get a good sense of what the standard of living of a country is by just seeing the prices at local franchises of Starbucks or McD's!

So a Big Mac set will set you back around 800-900yen...ouch...almost 8USD! Talk about a high cost of living in French Polynesia. The thing was, the people was packed like sardines! Why, you might ask? Because every other restaurant charged double or more for a simple lunch. Our dinners averaged 100-200 dollars per night...eeks! To save money, we hit up the local supermarket for yogurt, cheese, ham and plenty of baguette bread! Breakfasts did not come cheap, either...so we could save a lot by eating in for breakfast or lunch.

from my sweet sister, Jinny!

This is the cutest thing - the picture really doesn't let it shine as it should though...it is a cute tissue box cover. It is a newlywed couple: a man and woman sitting on a couch...oh, if only you could see the intricate details of it! The artsy and cute wedding card Jinny made for us was even more spectacular!

I am so lucky to have Jinny and glad that my brother had great taste to pick her as his dear wife!!! She is really passionate, kind, considerate, a great cook, and a good role model. (and soon to be great mother) She taught me a lot about humor in a relationship and life. She is tough while warm, all at the same time.

Perhaps this is too much info, but I'll say it anyway...in fact ages ago my brother had a short relationship with a girl who treated me quite poorly, despite even being younger than me. She wrote me a really nastily worded e-mail to me, something I never revealed to my brother(for fear of ruining their relationship or making him angry). My mother suspects she was immature, jealous, and overly competitive. Regardless, thank Lord I have Jinny now! I feel doubly lucky!

Bottom line: even though we have may have some rough experiences, they often help us appreciate the good things in life just that much more!!!

phew...vacations are work, too!

Out of around 400 pics, I posted around 100 on my photo website. Later I will send the link to some family and friends. If you want to see it, just give me a holler and I would be happy to send it to you, too. This picture here is a pic of our shadow, something I am quite partial of these days. Shadow pics are great fun! Try it next time you have the chance.

Vacations: packing, unpacking, writing postcards, buying tons of souvenirs (esp. for Japanese...the souvenir custom is a little overboard compared to back home, I think!)...phew!

I am getting used to life back in Japan and in fact am now quite happy to be in the comfort of our own home! Nothing like knowing where you are when you suddenly wake up in the middle of the night! Ha ha.

Updates on the vacation and more to come tomorrow. Today I have a full slate!

~Vivian

Oh I forgot!

I keep forgetting that today is my birthday, too. I am so out of it. I think I have a mild fever and feel really drowsy. Time to tuck in a nap before teaching later on today. Hmm, going straight back into work - perhaps not the wisest decision on my part. Maybe I should have a power veggie-packed lunch to get me back on my feet.

Vacation withdrawal symptoms: feel very very cold despite it being around 20C, the same temperature as when we left. Post honeymoon blues - I long for more fun in the sun. Ohhhh. Give me about a week to recover and I will be my bouncy, springy self again.

We're backkkkk.....

Oh my goodness, I feel as if I were hit by a truck! 5a.m. this morning jet leg crept in and I was wide-eyed and very awake. Now I feel drowsy. 'Tis almost 9a.m. in Japan but already around 2pm in French Polynesia.

What can I say? It was the trip of a lifetime at the price of a lifetime, too! Ha ha. Blue azure waters, close-ups of various sea creatures, newlywed romance, plenty of friendly islanders: a real appreciation for nature and little things in life. It is not unlike entering a twilight zone of sorts.

We stayed at three hotels: Hotel Bora Bora (1000USD a night!), Hotel Bora Bora Nui (luxury at its best), and Hotel Kia Ora on Rangiroa atoll (that is right, not even classified as an island!) Specific updates to come later. Too tired for now. ^_^

post-wedding days

Despite the wedding being officially over, there is still much to do! So many things unfinished and loose ends to tie up! I am getting into my second batch of 'Thank You' cards and more. What's more, there is a great deal of paperwork involved in getting married (taxes, registration and insurance...all kinds of red tapey stuff). Wooooo, Weddings are sooo much work. It better be just once in a lifetime! Ha ha.

I have started to go by Vivian Lee Yamada. It might take time to get into the hang of calling myself that, but we'll see. Hiro said it would be a pity to drop my 'cool' name, Vivian Lee, so I have just tacked on his name while keeping my maiden name. The best of both worlds, hee hee. My student, told me she waited at a bank or some institution and almost didn't hear her name because she had just adopted her husband's surname.

Michelle's speech at our wedding

My cousin Michelle gave this wonderful speech (in Japanese!!!) at our wedding. It gives you a good idea of our pre-wedding background, how we came to be here today. Thanks so much for your brave performance that day, Michelle!!!

Hi everyone, I’m Vivian’s cousin. My name is Michelle. Vivian and I have been really good friends since we were little. She grew up in the States and I grew up in Taiwan, we didn’t actually grow up together, but we still became very close. When we were little, Vivian was always the crazy one and I was the quiet one. She is always creative and full of quirky energy. We invented a brand name called Meggie. Meggie brand produces the most amazing products that include floating sandals you can wear on your hands that will magically transform a half-drown person into a fully competent swimmier. During a trip in Europe, we often entertained ourselves during those long train rides scaring passengers. We would stick two grains of pop corn rice on our braces and try to look like vampires. Vivian has continued to exert her quirky energy from childhood up until now. If you know Vivian, you would agree with me that she is one of the most loving and caring person you will ever come across. She’s probably also the most adventurous person you’ll ever meet, both inside the kitchen and outside the kitchen. She has this natural charisma that draws people together.

For those of you who don’t know Vivian directly, let me take a minute to introduce to you her background. Vivian Lee was born to her Taiwanese parents and grew up in Illinois, United States. During college years, she also spent four years in Canada, a country she often likes to pretend that she’s from. Four years ago, Vivian graduated from University of Toronto and decided to go work in Japan as an English teacher. She came to Japan because she wanted to experience living in an Asian country. A few of her friends who had already been working in Japan all came to like Japan very much, therefore she decided to give it a shot. She had absolutely no plan to stay in Japan more than a couple years. She came to Tsukuba and started working as an English teacher in Aeon. With her natural charisma, upbeat demeanor and superb English, she became one of the most popular teachers in the school in no time.

Now, let me shift gear and introduce to you tonight’s groom, Hirotsugu Yamada. Hitotsugu grew up in Yokohawa. He moved to Tsukuba as he started his job as an architectural researcher. When he was 32 years old, he got a chance to go to Vancouver for an international conference. All was very exciting for him except that he couldn’t converse with any foreign researchers because he lacked English conversational ability. He realized that he needed to improve his English, so he decided to go to an English conversation class. His co-worker recommended the school Aeon to him, At Aeon, Hiro met Vivian in his first class. Vivian was not the teacher then, she was just observing the class.　After that class, Vivian asked Hiro some questions (in the lobby area before class one day). But he couldn’t understand what she said. Finally Vivian gave up asking. It was the first time they talked to each other. So Hiro, did you ever find out just what Vivian asked you that day?

Since then, Vivian sometimes extended her party invitations to Hiro. They were able to make more conversation as Hiro’s English improved drastically. They became friends and discovered that they share many similar interests.

One day, Vivian asked Hiro out to dinner, he came out, asked where everyone was and Vivian said ”uh, ummm, there’s no one else coming” Hiro was surprised. Here I’ll quote a comment made by Hiro “looking back, that was the beginning of our life together” So, now we know who took initiative in this relationship. Vivian and Hiro began dating, however, soon Vivian was going to leave Japan. Vivian left these words for Hiro when she departed from Japan “I hope I will come back, maybe I will come back. “

Then, from 2004 April to November, Vivian left Japan and traveled the world. The long distance did not discourage the strong feelings they had towards each other. They exchange e-mails every day. Hiro had already captured Vivian’s heart, the nearly half a year separation only made Vivian more determined that she would not let this wonderful guy slip away from her life. So after traveling three continents and literally going around the globe, Vivian decided to move back to Japan for Hiro. Ever since that, they became serious with each other. They have been getting along so well that they decided to spend the rest of their life together.

When Vivian was in college, we never knew much about her love life. It seemed like she got bored of a guy easily, therefore she rarely went out with a guy more than a few dates. I thought it would be almost impossible for her to find the Mr. Right. Therefore I was shocked when I knew that the reason for her returning to Japan was a Japanese boyfriend. Although I didn’t know Hiro in person at that time, I knew he must be someone really special to be able to win over my cousin’s heart. Last month, I had the privilege of spending a long weekend with Hiro and Vivian. My assumptions about Hiro’s character were confirmed, he is extremely gentle, intelligent, fun, modest yet confident, patient and most important of all, he is able to put up with my cousin’s crazy ways.

When Vivian first came to Japan, a friend joked “Vivian, you should find a Japanese guy and marry him” Vivian sneered and replied something like “ha! that’s the last thing on earth that will ever happen to me” Of course now her friend teases her all the time for this. On the other hand, I believe that Hiro didn’t have any idea that his decision to improve English was not only going to be fulfilled, but it also was going to bring him a much bigger reward, a reward that he’ll take his entire life to appreciate. Love can overcome our pre-assumptions; Love has no boundary, and it knocks on your door when you least expect it. Congratulation, Vivian and Hiro on finding your true love.

pressure cooker!

With the aid of a good pressure cooker, even Hiro can make melt-in-your mouth juicy nikomi, Japanese simmered meat. Pressure cookers reduce the cooking time necessary, consequently saves one time and energy! Great for stews, simmered Japanese foods and even brown rice. A great investment - if you do not already own one, what are you waiting for?!

Caveat: steam from a pressure cooker is very dangerous - use with extreme caution.

God has blessed us

Though some western cultures believe rain is an ill omen, according to Hindu beliefs, rain on your wedding day is good luck! My sister Jinny told me according to Korean superstitition, if your wedding day is a rainy one, God has blessed your big day!

In our case, it was sunny, then sporadically cloudy and sunny, and just as the ceremony came to a close, light rain came drizzling down.

Some Japanese taboos: saying something like 'end' or 'finish' at a wedding ceremony/reception...or giving knives as a wedding present. A Chinese taboo: giving somone a clock as a present (in Chinese 'sending a clock' sounds similar to 'death')

More interesting wedding traditions and or superstition can be read here. Interesting!